Resolutions as Releasing
Finding a Way to Something Better
I. Image
Photo by John Bakator on Unsplash. Sparks from ignited steel wool spun in a kitchen whisk standing in the middle of the Bow River near Castle Mountain in Banff National Park.
II. Idea
Not all, but many of the personal development e-newsletters I received in recent weeks had a clear message about New Year’s resolutions—don’t do it!
Instead, they suggested alternatives:
“set a light intention, without the pressure of a rigid resolution”
“resolutions often come with pressure…intentions are flexible and adaptable”
“the new year doesn’t have to be shaped by resolutions, it can be shaped by listening to what you need.”
The practice of making grand resolutions, breaking them, and then abandoning the entire endeavor is all too common. I’m an experienced practitioner of this rite of passage. Reducing unneeded pressures, developing flexibility, and being adaptable are smart strategies to employ. There are plenty of external pressures from our fractured world—more every day with the cruelty and delusion of people in the highest places of power—we don’t need to pile on.
And yet, something about the preponderance of these messages, reading one after another, irked me. I kept thinking, I get it. I understand what this is pointing towards; we need self-care, stress reduction, but isn’t something missing? Is this approach going to inspire the energy and resilience, individually and collectively, to engage with a profoundly broken world in this moment? There has got to be an alternate way to work with the idea of resolutions without rejecting them.
That led me to visit a dictionary, which provided an instant, inspiring reframe.
Etymology from the Latin:
solvere: “To loosen, untie, release” (from which we also get solve, dissolve).
re-: Intensifying prefix, meaning “completely” or “back,” not “again”.
Evolution of Meaning
Firmness of Purpose: This sense developed from the idea of being “loosened” from doubt or indecision into a firm decision, leading to its use in “resolute” and New Year’s promises.
What if making a bold resolution—knowing that we are almost certain to break it—is an essential part of the design. We resolve to do something bold not because we will accomplish it (maybe we will, that would be great!), but because our almost certain ‘failure’ becomes a way to remember what we are growing towards: something bigger and better than what we currently are.
Maybe the resolution is there to support the messy move in that direction—to loosen and release, however slightly, our hold on what isn’t working.
III. Influence
“In the long run people only hit what they aim at. Therefore, though they should fail immediately, they had better aim at something high.” -Henry David Thoreau
Many conversations and observations about how people navigate change and transition have been shaping my thinking as I prepare to co-lead Future Crafting, a four-month coaching group for those navigating change in their professional or creative lives. Enrollment is open through the end of January, website and more details here. Please comment or reach out with any questions about Future Crafting.
Crossing Over is a newsletter focused on navigating change and transition. It’s a project connected to my work as a Coach and Facilitator. Each post includes an image, idea and influence connected to change and transition.
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